The Final Comedown

2019 has been a big year for me in terms of running. Having completed my first marathon in 2017 then spending 2018 smashing PBs in all other distances I decided that 2019 I was going to go all out in terms of long runs.

In April, after a few months of solid, injury free training, I ran the Magna Carta marathon, along the River Thames, completing it in just over 4 hours which was a surprise to everyone, most of all me. I appreciate I’m no Kipchoge but this was a pretty speedy marathon time for me.

Then in June I ran the Weald 50k, my first ever ultra marathon. A race that I really enjoyed where I found that I was able to unleash a second wind once I got past marathon distance. Possibly a sign that an ultra runner persona lurks within me somewhere.

September was the New Forest Marathon. I have been looking at this race for a number of years as my Dad lives fairly close by and we had our family holiday here over the summer so I had been really looking forward to it. Unfortunately, I had been struggling with a bad back leading up to the race so it became a case of just getting it done. I managed a few short runs in the couple of weeks beforehand then had a positive remedial massage a few days before (thanks to Pat Coogan!) so just about made it round those 26.2 miles. It was a struggle, both mentally and physically, and I still have no idea how I made it over the finish line.

Following New Forest Marathon I was pleased to discover that my poor old back made very steady improvements. I returned to training with my run club and was progressing once again. I made the decision to book in another challenge and entered a trail marathon, Ranscombe Challenge, at the end of October. I did a 15 mile training run the week before and figured I could just about get a marathon done on the back of all the training I had done all year and I was absolutely right. 26.2 miles bagged and I was feeling super positive.

So you would think that running all these distances in one year would make me feel amazing, right? Wrong. Oh so wrong. After Ranscombe I came down with a horrible cold that prevented me from running entirely. I tried not to beat myself up about this as actually, the cold was well timed and my body now had time to recover from the marathon distance before I put it through anything else. I am someone who does not get ill very often so I am the worst patient and felt very sorry for myself.

A week post race and the cold was beginning to subside, I felt that it might be time to get some recovery miles in the bag. I then received the sad news that one of my run club friends, Wim, had passed away suddenly and this hit me very hard. I have struggled with training since. He was a special man who was always such a big presence and someone you would look forward to having a laugh with at run club and parkrun. The thought of him not being there on training nights was inconceivable.

In an attempt to restore some kind of motivation, I signed up to race Cross Country for the first time. I ran the first two races and felt absolutely nothing. This should be something that is right up my street. Racing as part of a team, wearing trail shoes, running in new places. But I felt nothing at all. I couldn’t tell you 1 thing I loved about them or 1 thing I hated about them. Apart from going to the pub with my run club on the way home…but this is far from the point.

This lack of motivation combined with a blue few weeks, my boyfriend and favourite running buddy being out of action, and also a very minor hamstring niggle has led me to the decision to take a couple of weeks away from running. I have joined a gym to help maintain fitness and I will still continue to walk/hike a lot so I get to experience that sense of adventure that I love about running. I am not going to stress about it. I have no major races booked until May 2020 so there is no need to panic just yet. Currently I am not missing running in the slightest.

I have experienced this lack of mojo before and after a week without running the sense of guilt starts to make an appearance but I haven’t felt anything yet which can only be a good sign, right? I am hoping that after another week, with more time on my hands to reflect, I will start to remember what it is that I love about running and will want to get back out there. But if that doesn’t happen I will just give it more time. 4 marathon/marathon plus distances in a year is an amazing achievement but it seems that with great achievement also comes a great big, fat comedown.

Running is my chosen hobby, no one forces me to do it, so if it is no longer feeling fun then maybe a break is just what I need.

Magna Carta Marathon 2019 – the race I turned myself inside out for

Now brace yourselves for this blog post…it is going to be uncharacteristically positive.

Last Saturday I raced the race of my life, put in a performance that I am incredibly proud of and got round a marathon in 4 hours, 1 minute and 1 second. I never imagined, in a million years, I would achieve this time, so I thought it was best to give you all my insight to where I think I got it right.

The Magna Carta marathon is quite a low-key event that follows the Thames Path trail starting at Runnymede. The route is essentially two relatively short out and back loops (2.5 miles) in one direction followed by four longer out and back loops (5.3 miles) in the other direction. This is only the second year it has run and there is the half marathon event on the same day, starting an hour later, with a much larger amount of runners. The terrain is a mixture of trails, grass and cement paths and very flat. There were some exposed tree roots on a couple of sections so you had to be careful to mind your footing, especially as fatigue set in. The other difficulty was when the half marathon runners set off it created awkward moments on the narrow sections where you had to squeeze in to let them pass you but this didn’t impact on me too much.

I must say that I have really enjoyed the training in the lead up to this race, which is quite different to how my training went for the only other marathon I ran back in 2017. Training this year kicked off with a mammoth run on New Year’s Day. This involved running to a parkrun approximately 6 miles from my house, running parkrun, running back to my home city, running another parkrun, then running home. Approximately 20 miles in total. I had done a few longer runs up to this point but those 20 miles felt like a proper slog. This is when I realised that in order to succeed in this marathon I was going to have to respect the distance.

I have heard a few people say that whenever they are training for a longer distance event they only ever get up to half the distance in training. Now whilst this may work for them this was never going to be a viable strategy for me. I was going to have to get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. With this in mind – my Sunday long runs started at around 13-14 miles and gradually got longer every week up to around 22 miles. And these were not just road miles, some of these long runs were technical trails with massive hills to climb that felt like mountains when you were into double figures in terms of mileage. I am extremely lucky that not one of these runs I had to do alone. My wonderful boyfriend, and super ultra-marathon runner, Paul, was there with me every step of the way. We had a laugh and chatted (most of the time!), took stupid selfies and had some proper adventures. Having Paul with me meant that my whining was fairly minimal and we pushed each other on when we were struggling. By the time I hit the taper, 2 weeks before race day, I had reached the point where 20+ miles didn’t scare me anymore. Even typing that out now seems ridiculous. By the time I got to race day I knew I had done everything I could to prepare me for those 26.2 miles.

Now in terms of race goals I would be lying if I said I didn’t have a time in mind. My previous marathon time was 5 hours 11 minutes but this was my first marathon and it was a hilly trail route so I knew that getting a PB this year would be more than achievable. My running has got much stronger over the last 6-8 months and I have been able to run at a quicker pace for longer runs with my running club. I knew that a sub 4 hour marathon was extremely ambitious, but I was going to shoot for it anyway. This is a race I have trained for 100%, my A race, so you can be damn sure I will be giving that race my all. On the Tuesday before race day I went out for a little 5k leg stretcher and tried to keep at sub 4 hour marathon pace. It still felt pretty fast and I found it really hard going so I had no idea how the race itself was going to go when I would have to maintain that pace for another 37 kms. In reality a sub 4:30 would have been a more than realistic goal based on training times and my previous marathon. So I was more than a bit chuffed to come in just over that ‘completely unobtainable’ 4 hour mark. If I could go back in time to some of those longer training runs, particularly the ones that followed very flat routes, I would attempt to run one or two at a faster pace. This may have enabled me to get used to how it felt to run faster over the longer distances but hey isn’t hindsight a wonderful thing?

I had been feeling really chilled out about the run in the 2 weeks leading up to race day. I knew I had put in the training and I felt completely prepared for it – you could even say I was looking forward to it! I had managed a parkrun PB the Saturday before and I was in a very positive mental place. My 7 year old unfortunately came down with a tummy bug a few days before the race and even that didn’t phase me, I was completely calm. Thankfully the bug avoided everyone else in the house. By pure coincidence I had the week off work leading up to the race so I’d had loads of time to recharge my batteries and focus on the challenge ahead. All week I had been dithering over what to wear as the weather forecast was fairly cool. I have very limited experience of how fast I could run 26.2 miles so I didn’t know how warm I was going to get. I opted for shorts and my club t-shirt with no sleeves – on the basis that if I did feel a bit cold it might make me speed up! The other element I had been flip-flapping over all week was my fuelling strategy. Throughout all of my longer runs I have been fuelling with tailwind (electrolyte drink) in my flasks that I carry in my race vest. There were aid stations at both the start and turn around point on the route, stocked with tailwind, so technically I didn’t need to carry anything. However, I wanted to be sure that I followed exactly the same strategy as I had done in training which involved taking a sip of tailwind approximately every 1k after the 5k point. With this in mind I decided to wear my vest on race day especially as it is so light and comfortable so it was unlikely to slow me down. It was more like a security blanket to be honest, knowing that what I needed to see me through that marathon distance was with me at all times.

Then BAM the day of the race arrives and I am completely overcome with nerves. They were so bad I didn’t even want to run the race anymore. A drama free 90 minute car drive later and we arrived at the race HQ in plenty of time and collected our race numbers. After a few nervous toilet trips we gathered round for the pre race brief and set off promptly at 9am. I suspected that all I needed to settle my nerves was to run and I was absolutely right, by the time that first 2.5 mile lap was out of the way I had got into a good rhythm and I was enjoying it. I think a good taper makes you miss the sensation of running so I was relieved to be back to it. Predictably I set off a bit too quick and by the time the 2 shorter laps were done I had banked a couple of minutes. But I wasn’t too worried as I headed out onto the first of the longer 5.3 mile laps and I was still smiling. The race director was absolutely right when he said that these longer laps were scenic. A few hundred metres in and I was already caught up in soaking up my surroundings – I was really enjoying myself. A couple of these laps flew by and I had already reached the half way point, still at a decent pace, and not suffering in the slightest. The best thing about this out and back style of lapped race is that as Paul was running too and was ahead of me we got to pass each other twice per lap and shout out some encouragement to one another. It really helped to take my mind off the distance, thinking about when I was likely to see him next, or if he had managed to gain any places. I was also very relieved to see that the gap between us didn’t widen too much as the laps went on. I always knew I would struggle on the 3^rd longer lap as the first 2 were about getting half of them done and the 4^th was the final lap. The 3^rd lap was always going to be a ‘grin and bear it’ 5.3 miles. So I was more than a little thankful when a fellow runner started a conversation with me on this lap about a mile in. It turned out that he is doing the Thames Ring 250 mile event and was using this a training run but I was more than happy to listen to him chatter on about his training. By the time I hit the 4^th lap I was in a very positive head space. I kept thinking that I would hit that dreaded wall or the wheels would fall off…but I just kept going. I knew the pace had dropped off a bit but I was still running well and sipping my tailwind, I just had to keep pushing. I reached the turnaround point on the final lap, downed a cup of the sweetest blackcurrant squash I have ever tasted and thanked the super friendly marshals for the final time before heading back to the start/finish line for the very last time. I just could not believe how strong I felt for these last few miles. Paul finished about 10 minutes before me so came and met me on the corner of the final field. I even managed a little sprint finish!

© Sports Action Photos

Crossing the line, looking down at my watch to see a time of just over 4 hours and realising I was 5^th female finisher was incredible. I wish I could bottle that feeling. I’m not ashamed to say I was a little bit emotional. I was so proud of myself. Not just for those 26.2 miles but all the training I had put in leading up to the race itself. This is a medal that I am so pleased with and will keep me smiling for a very long time. I am not only proud of the time I achieved and my performance on the day but the fact that I had a really enjoyable race. There was not a single point on that race where I wished it was over or I couldn’t wait for it to be done so that I never had to run again. This couldn’t be more different to my race experience earlier in the year at the Canterbury 10 which you can read about here. I knew all I had to do was believe in my training, I had nailed it.

So what next? Firstly I am going to have a week of recovery. Much lower running mileage and some swimming thrown in to help with this recovery. Then I have my first ultra-marathon booked in, the Weald 50k, in a little under 8 weeks time. My focus will be on longer runs with quality mileage – lots of trails and hills. If I have learnt anything from training for this marathon it is that you have to make your body familiar with what is to come. You absolutely have to get familiar with the distance and not just rely on race day adrenaline to get you through. I need to make my legs (and my head!) accustomed with what running 50k of trails feels like. The marathon has given me a good basis for the distance so I just need to continue with all the hard work I have put in so far. But most of all I want to continue to have fun and enjoy myself out on those trails because if running isn’t fun then what is the point?

Canterbury 10 – one big struggle

Last weekend I completed my first race of the year – the Canterbury 10 mile road race, with around 1500 other runners. Canterbury is my home city and I love being able to take part in a race so close to where I live as logistics are an absolute doddle. It’s a hilly, scenic route which takes in the rolling countryside of the villages on the outskirts of the city – definitely my kind of race. I actually signed up for this race back in September last year as it gives you something to focus on during January and a reason not to just give up on training entirely over the festive period.

So it is safe to say I had been looking forward to this race for a good few months. That was until the week of the race itself. A few days beforehand illness struck and I felt completely exhausted. On the Friday I was starting to feel better but I still had a banging headache and I had hardly managed to get out and run at all that week. By Sunday morning I was totally dreading the thought of running 10 miles…let alone racing it.

To give you some background this was actually my third time running this event. 2017 was my first year. At this point I had only ever run one 10 mile race and that was a completely flat coastal route back in April 2016. For the Canterbury 10 in 2017 I managed to finish just a few minutes after my previous 10 mile time. I was happy with that considering it was a much more challenging route and the freezing fog made race conditions very difficult. In 2018 I knocked a staggering 6 minutes off my 2017 time to cross the line in 1:23:23.

In the 12 months since this race last year my running has come on leaps and bounds so I was feeling confident that I would get another PB this year. But this only added to the nerves leading up to the start line. I couldn’t stop thinking about how I would feel if I didn’t get a PB especially when I considered how much my running has improved since the last time I ran this race. Now if someone else had told me that they were not looking forward to a race because they were worried they wouldn’t get a PB I would have told them not to be so ridiculous! But we are not always the best at heeding our own advice are we? Particularly as I am someone who likes to compete with myself and constantly strives for improvement.

For the entire week leading up to the race I had been checking the weather religiously as it had been threatening sleet showers. On the morning of the race I had got up early to take my eldest to swim club and it was raining hard and freezing cold at 6am. By the time we walked to race HQ just after 8am the rain had lessened but it was still very windy and freezing cold. This only added to my nerves. It’s a difficult course at the best of times but the added issue of non-favourable weather, it was clear this wasn’t going to be a walk in the park.

I had calculated that if I stuck to around 5 minute kilometres (yes I still measure my runs in kms – feel free to judge me!) then I would be well on target to grab myself a massive PB. I had managed to stick to this pace, or there abouts, on training runs so I knew I would have it in me in race conditions to stay at this speed. But instead of reassuring me this only made me feel worse as I just kept thinking that if I don’t manage it I will only have myself to blame, which is simply not true. Anyway the race set off and as you can imagine with so many runners the first mile or so is incredibly bunched up. You have to weave your way in and out of the other runners so that you are able to settle into your comfortable pace. However, from the very first step everything felt uncomfortable. My shoulders felt tense, I couldn’t get my breathing right, I felt like I had my shoes on the wrong feet, my big toes hurt and I was getting uncharacteristically annoyed with everything and everyone around me. I knew then that I wasn’t going to have an enjoyable race.

At around 2 miles in I could see a commotion up ahead and runners were clearing the path. A female runner from another club had taken an unfortunate tumble and was lying on the ground crying out in pain, with her leg twisted at a very awkward angle. It was evident she had done some serious damage. Other runners had stopped to be with her whilst the medical attention arrived. It was really unsettling to see. I have since discovered that she broke her femur bone, poor woman, I hope she recovers quickly.

At 4 miles there is the first of 2 killer hills. This one is relatively short (around 400m) but really quite steep. My pace obviously slowed but I was managing to overtake some other runners up hill and this gave me a bit of a confidence boost. However, when I got to the top I was unable to enjoy the recovery because I just could not recover. My legs were done in and my lungs had simply had enough. Just after the half way point the course took a sharp left turn into a gentle incline straight into some awful headwind. I was still managing to dip in just under that magical 5 minute kilometre but I was finding it all such a huge effort. Usually at the half way point in a race I get a buzz from knowing that every step I take from that point onwards was another step closer to the finish line. Not this time. As I was running into that headwind, struggling to breathe and getting absolutely zero joy from running I knew that these final 5 miles would be the real battle.

I was completely right. Each mile felt like it lasted an eternity. I was cold, miserable and heavy footed. It was pure hard work and determination that got me through. I kept thinking there was absolutely no way I was going through this ordeal and getting a time I was not happy with. This was the only thought that kept me driven for those final few miles. I crossed the finish line in 1:22:40. 43 seconds faster than my previous PB.

When I crossed that finish line and someone kindly cut the timing chip from my shoe and hung a medal round my neck you would think that I would have felt ecstatic, over the moon, accomplished. Instead I just felt numb. Relieved the suffering was finally over but just numb. I had left everything out on the course and I was completely empty. But why did I feel this way? When you look at the facts I should have felt wonderful – I had managed a PB in awful weather conditions, despite being poorly that week. But something just didn’t sit right with me about this race.

I took some time to reflect on what had made me feel so rubbish about an otherwise incredible achievement. In all honesty I think it is that I am not used to having to work so hard for a PB. I am not saying that all of my achievements have come easy, far from it, it is more that I have been used to enjoying the events where I have done well. Don’t get me wrong, I have had bad races before, but these are the ones where I have had a bad result to match my bad experience. To go through all this pain and struggle for 10 miles then still end up with a result to be proud of was all new to me.

So what have I learned from all of this?
1. A bad experience is no reflection of my performance
2. Overthinking is the killer of enjoyment
3. Not all achievements come easy. Sometimes if you want something badly you absolutely have to work for it. The struggle to achieve what you really want is likely to hurt but it’ll all be worth it!

2019 – A year of challenges ahead

Apologies for the lack of blogging last year – that is all set to change this year.

Regular readers of my blog will know that I only tend to blog when my running is going badly or when I am not enjoying it as much, in some last ditch attempt to make things seem more positive. In all truth my running couldn’t have gone any better last year. As a bit of an update – I had some health issues in 2017, following my first marathon in May that year, and I had managed to get on top of all this by the beginning of 2018 meaning that my running just went from strength to strength. I entered 8 major races last year, varying from 10k to half marathon, and managed personal bests in 5 of them. In addition to this I not only cracked that somewhat mythical sub 25 minute parkrun time but went on to smash through the 24 minute barrier to finish the year with a 5k PB of 23:39. But it is not all about the numbers. Clearly I am over the moon that I am noticing improvements but I have also regained my running mojo and I am enjoying running once again.

Now time for a rare glimpse into my non-running life. Those of you who know me in ‘real’ life will know that 2018 was not all butterflies and rainbows. I have gone through some major personal life changes which I won’t go into as they are not particularly relevant to this post. Only to say that running is now more important to me than ever. It is the shining light on my darkest days, a reason for me to get out of the door and a vehicle for me to make friends and meet new people.

What will 2019 bring? There is no better time than right now for me to take on some massive challenges. This year I have decided to take on not one, but two marathons and the small matter of two ultra-marathons. They are as follows:

April – Magna Carta Marathon
June – Weald 50k
September – New Forest Marathon
October – Stort 30 miler

These challenges may seem a bit extreme given that I have only ever run one marathon and that was 18 months ago. But this is definitely what I need. It is these challenges that will keep me focused and really drive me forward this year.

I am incredibly grateful to have the love and support of my wonderful partner Paul, who many of you know as being an awesome ultra-runner himself. He’s a brilliant source of advice and has always believed in my abilities even when I haven’t believed in them myself. Paul will be there running beside me for the final 3 races but the first marathon I have to do all on my own because he’s running a 50 miler the weekend before.

Given that my first marathon of the year is only 14 weeks away I certainly have my work cut out for me. I am entering training for this first race with a positive attitude and some decent race experiences behind me. Anyway, I can’t wait to share this training journey with you all. The highs, the lows…and the cries for help. Let’s just hope I can get through this year without injury, minimal drama, and a massive smile on my face (mostly!).

Thanks for reading…i’ll be back with an update real soon.

SJ

x

Running free: running happy

Despite the grimace on my face in the picture above (cut me some slack – I was running uphill!) I have never felt in a happier place with my running.

2018 is my marathon-less year and I have been wondering how I would cope this year without the structure that my marathon training plan brought to my running last year. I’m nearly two months into 2018 and I have to say actually I am coping pretty well indeed.

The year started with a bang. With two parkruns and a run between them on New Year’s Day, meaning that I covered 12 miles on that very first day of the year. The first of those parkruns saw me cross the line with a course PB which I was more than happy with considering I was chatting with my friends the whole way round, attempting to take it easy in preparation for the remaining 9 miles of the day. This wonderfully positive day was followed 3 weeks later by the Canterbury 10 Mile Road Race in which I flew round in 1:23:23, more than 6 minutes faster than the previous year’s time and 3 minutes faster than my 10 mile PB from 2016. Then last weekend I ran my final long distance race of the Winter, the Deal Half Marathon. Another PB bagged and faith in my running ability sufficiently restored.

Now that the Deal Half is done I have deliberately chosen not to plan in a load of races for the remainder of the year. It all got a bit much last year. I trained for one race, then the next. Never really recovering properly and never giving myself time to reflect on my performance, good or bad. Deal was an incredible experience, despite it being a tough, hilly course which was made only tougher with more than significant head winds throughout. It showed me that I am capable of so much more than I allow myself to believe. It also reinforced the idea that I get carried away on race day. I am never able to achieve that pace outside of race conditions. I still can’t fathom how I managed it, even a week later.

There are lots of reasons why I am still running loads during a normal week despite not having any races booked in. I wrote a post a little while back Why Do I Run? which explains many more reasons why running is so important to me. I like to stay healthy, I still want to lose a bit of weight and ultimately it is a brilliant leveller in terms of my mental health.

I fully intend on racing over the Spring/Summer as traditionally I tend to run better when the sun is shining but I will book in some local 10ks nearer the time. This is my new, relaxed approach to training and racing. Running for the sheer enjoyment of running rather than having to got for a run because the plan says I must. I don’t want to get all stressed out about PBs, pacing, fuelling strategy, bla bla bla. I will book a half marathon for around the Autumn time too as it will give me a reason to continue going out for my long runs over the summer months, but I will worry about that nearer the time.

I have enjoyed running so much more this year because of the lack of structure. And I don’t know if it is a coincidence or because I am fully fit now but I have noticed real improvements in my running in terms of both speed and endurance. Sure I still have the odd ‘bad run’ but these are few and far between. Ultimately I am so much happier just doing my own thing, it is like a massive weight has been lifted from my shoulders knowing that I am running because I want to not because I have to. And actually if I wake up on a Sunday morning and decide I would rather stay in my pjs and eat pancakes with my kids, that is absolutely fine! My running will never be entirely without structure and this is with a massive thank you to my incredible running club, the Canterbury Harriers, who I train with on Tuesday (speed work) and Thursday (longer runs). The Harriers have experienced coaches who are always able to offer the best advice and steer me in the right direction when needed but it is great to run with a fantastic, supportive group of like-minded people.

I am using this year to try out some new things with my training too. I have already started doing some more strength and conditioning work in the gym, something that I would have previously been too scared to do in case it impacted on my training plans for the week. I want to go out and run more trails, knowing that the runs may be shorter and slower but that is absolutely fine too because my aim is to enjoy it and there is nothing more enjoyable that being able to run and explore at the same time. Mileage isn’t the be all and end all. I am also going to use this race-less time to focus on chipping away at my home parkrun time. You never know 2018 may even be the year I break through that mythical sub 25.

Thank you to everyone for your continued support. Keep smiling!

Sammy-Jo
x

Reflecting on 2017 – a shed ton of miles!

Wow! What a crazy year of running 2017 was for me. My husband bought me the Strava print (in the featured image above) as a Christmas present and it allowed me to reflect upon all the running and mileage I have completed in 2017. I have also been keeping a running diary for the whole of 2017 which has allowed to track all of my runs – 1300 miles and countless races, including my first marathon. Regular readers of my blog will know the ups and downs I have faced this year which only makes my achievements feel so much more significant to me. 2017 is definitely going to take some beating!

I am happy to report that I finished 2017 on a major high by running a parkrun PB, something I have been chasing for a while as I hadn’t had a PB on that course since February 2016, further proof that I am finally getting back to full strength after the various ‘health hurdles’ I have faced since my marathon in May.

It would be impossible to go through everything that has happened this year but here is a little recap of 2017:

January:
– The start of my marathon training, brimming with positivity.
– My first race of the year -the Canterbury 10 miler (can’t beat a race in your home town). Freezing cold conditions and a challenging hilly course but I still managed to bag a sub 90 minute time.

February:
– Deal half marathon – surprised everyone with a 1:58 – taking over 12 minutes off my previous time – clearly marathon training was paying dividends.
– Ran my first ever sub 26 minute 5k, on a flat parkrun course but it did wonders for my confidence.

March:
– Dramatically ramped up my marathon training mileage – averaging 40 miles a week over 5 days of training. I was absolutely exhausted and the marathon doubts started to creep in but I completed some long solo runs.

April:
– More training woes including an abandoned LSR. But helped through by some incredibly supportive friends.
– Started listening to podcasts rather than music for my long runs and this proved to be much more successful in taking my mind off the boredom/pain.
– Gave up alcohol in preparation for the marathon (this is more than a big deal for me!)

May:
– BEWL WATER MARATHON completed. Absolutely amazing experience. Helped round by my awesome mate Paul. Spent the remainder of May experiencing a true ‘runners high’ and the odd slightly lost feeling but I was assured this was perfectly normal.
– Start of the inter-club summer relays – discovered that my legs were no longer able to run fast or short distances. Fantastic.

June:
– Charing 10k – significantly slower than the previous year (blamed the marathon) but still enjoyable.
– More feeling like I was lost without a rigid training plan to follow.
– Paced the hubby around his first 10k race – made it over the line sub 60 minutes – very proud wifey.
– Further summer relays – started to enjoy them more. See slight smile in photo below (but it could easily be a grimace).
– Did a 14 day run streak in an attempt to get my running mojo back – didn’t work, wish I hadn’t bothered. Blamed the marathon again.

July:
– Increasing whininess that my legs won’t move fast despite completing a marathon 6 weeks ago.
– Lost the mum’s race at the school sports day – that was a particularly low moment in 2017.
– Thunder Run – 24 hour relay race – 4 laps of 6 miles over a very technical course on quite possibly the worst weather weekend of the year. My first camping experience too! A brilliant but challenging weekend spent with friends, creating memories I will never forget.

August:
– Aylesham 10k, a hilly local race. Beat my 2015 time but it still wasn’t a particularly fast 10k.
– Canterbury half marathon – possibly the worst race experience of my life. I walked huge parts of the course and achieved a personal worst HM time.
– By now I had come around to the idea that I will be slow forever.

September:
– Reached the 1000 mile mark – contemplated giving up running forever.
– Decided not to be stupid and to persevere with this running lark. However while out on a long run I was so tired and my legs felt so heavy that I took a bad fall. Started to question why I was still bothering with something I was so rubbish at.
– Received some game-changing advice from my running club buddies.

October:
– Bit the bullet and went to the doctor. After a few blood tests I was diagnosed with anaemia and given a strong dose of iron tablets for 2 months. Totally relieved that there was a reason for my terrible running.
– Royal Parks Half Marathon – incredible race with approximately 16,000 runners around some wonderful sights in London. Really enjoyed myself.
– Completed my 100th parkrun – a real running highlight.
– Picked up a niggling little foot injury. Annoyed that I had to take a couple of weeks away from running but it gave me time to work on my core strength and reflect on my training.

November:
– Enjoyed some social runs in the woods. No time pressures, just a run and chat. Perfect.
– My running mojo was slowly returning.
– Completed the 666 trail race – a very technical run (the clue is in the title). Absolutely loved it, didn’t stop smiling the whole way round.
– Bought speedy* new Asics trainers. *N.B. there is no guarantee that the shoes make me faster but they certainly look pretty.

December:
– Running gradually getting easier and faster. As a result I was feeling infinitely happier.
– Finally achieved a parkrun PB – the perfect end to an awesome year of running.

2018 onwards:
Many people are surprised when I say that I will not be running another marathon this year but I’m just not cut out for another Spring season of marathon training. So this year I am going to focus on my parkruns and 10k races with the odd half marathon thrown in for good measure. But ultimately I just want to get back to enjoying running and being healthy. 2018 is the year for being kind to myself and not taking things too seriously.

BRING IT ON.

When your running mojo runs away

The featured photo in this post is a photo taken of me during a recent half marathon in my home city…walking.  It was a horrible race for a whole host of reasons that I haven’t even got the energy to talk about but I had to walk an awful lot of those 13.1 miles. I seem to be doing a lot of that walking stuff lately. The truth of the matter is I’m really not that fast anymore. Not that I have ever been particularly speedy but things have taken a terrible turn for the worst and I can pinpoint exactly when this downturn of events started happening – around the time I ran a marathon.

When I first started writing this blog around a year ago my stated aim was to get faster. Not by much but faster all the same. I would love a sub 25 minute time at my local (hilly) parkrun and at some point in the not too distant future I would love to run a sub 4 hour marathon. That’s the dream right? I figured that embarking on a marathon journey could only lead me on an upward trajectory to better running. WRONG. Oh so wrong. My parkrun times are right back to where they were when I started parkrunning over 3 years ago and a sub 27 minute feels like a distant memory let alone sub 25. I fear that throughout marathon training where I ran week upon week of 30+ long slow miles, getting in the groove and just getting the miles done has ruined me. It is like my fast twitch muscles have forgotten how to work and my slow twitch muscles have taken hold for good. I have said before that I am lucky to be surrounded by some absolutely incredible runners who have also completed marathons this year but have come out the other side and their running has come on, quite literally in leaps in and bounds.  My marathon was way back in May, what on earth is wrong with me? When is my time going to come? But if there is one thing I have learnt from running, it is that however hard this may be, you can’t compare yourself to others, everyone is different. And it is really hard. Especially when I am putting in so much time and effort into my training but not getting anything back.

Well it doesn’t take Einstein to work out the effect this has had on my attitude to running and my running ‘mojo’. There were times during marathon training that I felt down but this is something else entirely. I recently went out for my normal 10 mile run on a Sunday. I’m a marathon runner so 10 miles should be a walk (or run!) in the park. But no. It felt unbelievably hard. It was like each of my knee caps weighed 5 stone and it was as much as I could do just to lift my feet up. I had to keep stopping and it was a real effort from start to finish. When I got home I didn’t even get the ‘well at least I managed it’ feeling. I actually felt remorse for doing it in the first place. I vowed never to run again. Of course I ran again 2 days later but that’s not the point. The struggle I was feeling and lack of ease that I had previously felt when running had really got to me.

I spoke to one of my friends (also a runner) recently about the issues I have been having with speed and how I was so much faster before my marathon. He replied “yes but you can run so much further now”. And do you know what? He’s right! I can run further so I just need to find a way of letting my legs know that when I go out on a shorter run I can afford to run a but faster. It also made me feel a bit better realising that I may have been able to run faster over a 5k distance a year ago but I wasn’t running the weekly mileage I am now. In 2017 I have run over 1100 miles so far. That’s a huge amount of mileage to be carrying around in your legs and an achievement that I should keep in mind when I am being so harsh on myself.

Another friend (again also a runner) when talking to me about my running woes made a very good point. I am so incredibly lucky to be surrounded by some awesome runners who regularly compete in marathons, ultra-marathons, 100 milers etc. and sometimes this leads us to forget that the distances us ‘normal runners’ do are still HUGE. There were times when I couldn’t run a mile without stopping and now I regularly run at least 4 days a week and clock up around 25 miles in that time. We just need a slap in the face every now and again to remind ourselves of how far we’ve come.

So what am I going to do about this little blip? Firstly I am confident that that is all it is, a little blip. Ultimately I love running, of course I do. But that doesn’t mean you always have to like it. I have got the Royal Parks Half marathon in London this weekend – a race I have been looking forward to all year so my plan is to try my best and make the most of the scenery and amazing crowds. Moving forward with my running I have booked a routine check up with my doctor (under duress from my ever supportive husband) just to rule out any other reasons for my general feelings of fatigue. In terms of my training I think it is time to shake things up and concentrate on getting some of that speed back. I have enlisted the help of a friend (guess what – a runner!) who is actually a brilliant runner and a real inspiration and he really knows his stuff or in his words “knows just enough to be dangerous”. We’re going to sit down and write a training plan together. I am hoping adding some structure to my training will be just what I need and having a plan written by someone else might help with my discipline.
The next few months are definitely going to take me on a journey and hopefully lead me to new levels in terms of my fitness and ability. I am certain that there will be plenty of ups and downs along the way, just like my favourite type of trail run. But am I ready for the challenge? You bet I am!

Bewl Water Marathon 2017

Here it is – the blog post you have all been waiting for: my marathon race review!

On Saturday 13th May 2017 something amazing happened – I only went and ran my first marathon. That’s a right, a whole 26.2 miles. And not just any marathon – a trail marathon. I must be a glutton for punishment.

The morning started bright and early with an alarm set for 5:45am. The race started at 9am and it was just over an hour drive away so I wanted to be sure we had plenty of time in case we got caught in race day traffic (been there before!) or stuck behind a tractor on the country lanes. Weather was looking alright, not too hot and some cloud coverage. I had a fairly good night of sleep considering I had been waking up at 5am all week full of nerves and excitement. I had packed my kit the night before and done the obligatory ‘here is a photo of all my stuff for my race aren’t I hardcore?’ social media posts, so I knew I was well prepared from a logistics point of view. I did my best to consume a bowl of porridge washed down with a coffee but the nerves were starting to kick in and what would normally only take a few minutes to eat seemed to take a lifetime. Breakfast finished, car loaded and off we went.

We arrived at Bewl Water about an hour before race kick off and I was surprised to see so many cars in the car park with runners busy getting their compression socks on, eating some last minute breakfast etc. For some reason I thought there would only be about 10 people. This actually made me feel a bit better, that I would just get lost in the crowds somehow. I went to register and pick up my number. The event has 3 races on the same day, half an hour apart. The half is 1 loop, marathon is 2 loops and ultra is 3 loops. I was happy to see that the marathon bibs were colour coded lucky red and for some reason I get a bit superstitious about race numbers so 404 looked good to me. I love a good quote too so I was big fan of the motivational line the race director added.

At the registration tent I met up with my friend Paul and his lovely wife Clare. If you are a regular reader of my blog you will already know that Paul agreed to run the race with me back when I signed up for it at the end of 2016. He is an awesome ultra marathon runner and has been a great source of support and encouragement in the months leading up to my marathon. Anyway, we exchanged some nervous chatter, most of it I don’t even recall, I just wanted to get on with the race. I have to say I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I would be. The 3 weeks of decent tapering meant that I was craving a long run. The start line was about a 5 minute walk from race HQ so we eagerly made our way down there. This included some fairly steep steps leading down to the water reservoir – I knew I’d be hating them come the end of the race. After a few pre race photos, some good luck kisses from my family and a fairly amusing pre run brief from the race director, the klaxon went and we were on our way!

The first mile involves a loop round the start line which includes a reasonably long, fairly steep hill. You don’t do this additional loop on the second lap but I still thought it was pretty cruel that you were made to do that hill 3 times. Little did I know that was just the start of things to come. After that initial loop was over with we went up onto the trails and by mile 3 I had got myself into a good comfortable rhythm. The good thing about doing a two lap race is that once that first lap is done you know that every step you take from that point onwards in one step closer to the finish. The downside to this is that everything you do on the first lap you know you are going to have to do again…13 miles later. By mile 5 my mind was already drifting and I was starting wonder what each part of the course was going to feel like in 13 miles time. This isn’t a good strategy and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. At mile 5 I allowed my head to convince my legs they were as heavy as if I was at the 18 mile point. Not good. Thankfully this didn’t last long. Paul and I managed to maintain a steady pace and having someone to chat with was great. The beautiful scenery was a real distraction too, not to mention the terrain. You really had to concentrate and watch your footing to make you sure didn’t stumble. The aid stations were great too. They were perfectly positioned roughly every 3-4 miles and were stocked with water, squash, sweets, electrolytes and best of all – the brand of gels that I’ve been using for my training. This meant that I was able to remove my waist belt at the half way point and pass it to my husband, to make the run more comfortable.

At around mile 8/9 the route took you away from the water reservoir and out onto the surrounding village roads. This is when the run really got tough. I don’t mind the odd hill but these hills were relentless. Every time I thought I had got to the top of a hill it would just keep on going. I persevered and plodded my way up those hills but had that nagging feeling at the back of mind that I’d only conquered half the battle. After a couple of miles we ended up back on the trails of the reservoir path. This included a long section of large gravel which wasn’t that pleasant to run in road shoes. The soles of my feet felt bruised and it was pretty brutal on my poor old ankles. Mile 10-12 seemed to go on forever and I really needed a wee. Then at mile 12 we were ‘greeted’ by the steepest of steep hills. There are not enough swear words to do this hill justice. I tried my best to run some of it and knew that at mile 25 those swear words be making an appearance. I resigned to hiking up the final part of it ready to push on to the half way point where I could finally use a portaloo. Oh and see my family of course.

On to the second lap and up that hill that seemed like the mother of hills when I was standing at the start line over 2 hours ago but now I’ve done that first lap appears to be nothing more than a speed bump. Onto the trails again and I’m feeling comfortable and happy. The army cadets at the aid stations were super and filled up my water bottle for me whilst I was drinking a glass of squash or taking on a gel. Everything was going great, you could even say I was enjoying it. Then at around mile 15 I started to get a feeling in my lower stomach like a needed a wee again. I put this down to nerves and adrenaline, knowing that I was more than half way through my first marathon and not hating it. This strange feeling didn’t disappear so I decided it was time to face my fears and toddle off for a quick wee in the woods. Back out on the trails and a very slow mile later, that feeling returned so I nipped off to find a secluded tree once again. But the feeling was still there. I persevered and struggled through. By the time we were back out on the hills of the village roads again I made the decision to briskly walk up the hills and run the parts I could to conserve energy. At mile 19/20 when we were back on the reservoir path the mild discomfort in my stomach had mutated into the worst stomach cramp/stitch combination you could ever imagine. I was struggling to breathe let alone run. I was thankful to be wearing sunglasses because the pain was so bad it was making me cry. I battled through to mile 23, using various breathing techniques and trying to block out the pain. Paul was great and knew all the right things to say to keep me focused.

At mile 24, nearly 5 hours in, knowing that I still had that awful hill to climb before the finish, I exclaimed that it would be good to finish before the clock says 5:15. Paul half smiled and politely let me know that it wouldn’t be possible at my current pace. I knew I had to pull something amazing out of the bag, so I dug deep and catapulted myself up that hill (i.e. walked as fast as I could) then somehow managed a sprint, of sorts, for the last mile at an average pace of sub 9 mins. I crossed the finish line with a smile on my face in a time of 5 hours and 11 mins. There I was met by my husband and kids, where I cried my eyes out and had post race victory photos. All of which seems a blur to me now. I was just so happy to have finally finished. 19 weeks of training and nearly 700 miles later. Those 26.2 miles were the full stop to my marathon journey. And I’m really quite proud of myself.

So what next? Plenty of times you hear people finish a marathon and say ‘never again’. Not me! Despite the hills and challenge of the trails, I did actually enjoy the distance. And I know there have been a few wobbles along the way but I have really embraced the structure that marathon training has brought to my life. If anything I love running more now than I ever have. I always knew that taking on a trail marathon first would leave me wanting to do a road marathon. It has got to be easier right? We shall see.

 

On the home straight…finally

I am not running today. So that means time for reflection and therefore a new blog post. Hurrah!

I’m pleased to report that after 16  and a bit weeks of fairly intensive marathon training, covering hundreds of miles, a fair few hours, plenty of tears and the odd smile (or perhaps grimace if the above image is anything to go by!) I have officially made it through to tapering. I have no idea how I have managed to make it to this point. I have wanted to throw in the towel countless numbers of times but my sheer grit and determination has got me through. Although I’m sure my husband would say it is pure bloody minded-ness. Once I say I am going to do something – I’ll do it.

At this point I am only 17 days away from the big race, which is Bewl Water Marathon on Saturday 13th May just in case you are new to my blog. I’ve done my final LSR (long steady run) so the next 17 days will include a few runs with my running club and some steady runs at the weekends but with less mileage than previous weeks. These last couple of weeks of my training plan have been adjusted from the original plan, as I’m now better informed than when I drew up the original plan at the start of the year and I know what I should be aiming for in these last couple of weeks. I still find it amazing to look at my plan for this weekend and see I’ve only got to run 10 miles. 10 miles is still a really long distance but not compared with the mileage I’ve been doing of late. It is important to recognise how far you’ve come with your training, it is too easy to get bogged down with a training plan that you leave yourself very little head space to reflect on the brilliant achievements you have made along the way. It was only a little over a year ago that I ran my first ever 10 mile run. That felt like a massive step up and it was a super achievement.

By easing off the mileage over the next couple of weeks this will hopefully mean that I’m not carrying too many miles in my legs come race day. I’ll be feeling refreshed and totally ready. IN THEORY. I’m still waiting for the inevitable mara-noia come race week, when I’m stressing over every little ache and niggle. Don’t worry if it comes I’m sure I will blog about it, I’ve only got two 3 mile runs scheduled for that week so I’ll have plenty of spare time on my hands.

So how am I feeling about it? Well pretty confident actually. If you had asked me two weeks ago you would have got a very different answer. Two weeks ago, I was still getting over a cold, race day seemed forever away and I was hating every step of running. I had sort of lost my way with training which wasn’t helping either. Re-writing the last few weeks of the plan definitely helped to regain my focus on training as I could visualise the end of training. My focus was no longer on the race day itself – I just had to concentrate on getting through to the taper without giving up. It worked!

Another positive step in the right direction was taking a family trip to Bewl Water itself so that I could see for myself what that location was like. I was not disappointed. Words simply cannot describe how beautiful this place is. I definitely made the right choice for my first marathon. I read an article for first time marathoners recently that specifically advised you not to do a recce of the route before the race. This trip was a happy medium as I was able to get an idea of what the terrain and paths were like without feeling overwhelmed.

And the running itself has been going well since that trip to Bewl. I made it through a solo 20 mile LSR last weekend and the weekend before, something that I didn’t even realise my body was capable of. I thought I would be feeling ruined by the end of mile 20 but it wasn’t that bad. I made sure I took a rest day after but I could have run if I had to, maybe not 20 miles. Naturally this has given me a real boost for the race itself. Its only an extra 6 and a bit miles right?

To sum up the last 16 and a bit weeks I would have to say that my emotions have been up and down, much like the course description of my marathon. I am lucky to be surrounded by some incredibly supportive friends and family who are there to encourage me when things aren’t going so well and equally are happy to congratulate me when I’ve accomplished something amazing. I just need to constantly remind myself that I may not have completed 26.2 miles just yet but I have come a seriously long way.

 

When your feet won’t go where your heart wants to

To say I have had a challenging training week is an understatement. Work (as in paid employment) has been pretty full on and squeezing in my training runs has been a real struggle. Work commitments also meant that I missed a club training run and had to do an early morning solo run before work the next day to make up the mileage. This is not something I am used to and threw me all out of whack. Then the real icing on this week’s training cake was me having to abandon my long steady run on the Sunday. I was hoping to do 20 miles but I only managed a measly 10. The reason I had to cut it short was not because I didn’t have the time or because I was injured…it was because I just couldn’t run another step. My head wouldn’t allow it. I even bumped into some friendly faces that I know from parkrun at around mile 3 and they offered to give me a lift home because they could tell I wasn’t coping. Not good.

I knew that at some point in my training I would have a run where I misjudged my abilities, I just didn’t expect it to happen after just 10 miles. I have been feeling a little under the weather for the past few days but I just put this down to fatigue rather than illness but clearly this has had an impact on my running. Marathon training has been a massive learning curve for me. One of the things I am still struggling to learn is when and when not to push myself. Clearly this was a week when I should have learnt to drop back a bit and recover from the previous weekend’s 18 mile LSR. I just assumed that once you’ve pushed yourself that far you can just keep pushing. Well I was wrong.

Another thing I am still learning is not to be too hard on myself when things don’t exactly go to plan. This is really hard for someone like me generally as I like to feel like I am in complete control but there are so many factors to consider with running that it is impossible to be in control all the time. After coming home from my shortened LSR I felt quite low and rubbish all day. With less than 6 weeks to go until my marathon the doubts were starting to creep in about my ability to run 26.2 miles when I felt like I would rather be dead after barely running 10. When I get into that mind set I forget all about the awesome feelings I had the previous week after running 18 miles with relative ease and I felt positive about finding the remaining 8 miles on race day, with plenty of time left to build up the mileage.

Thankfully I have some great friends with bundles of running experience who have given me the kick I up the backside that I need. Sometimes runs go really well and you feel like you are unbeatable…and sometimes they go not so well. I read a quote once that says “Accept the days when running seems impossible, embrace the days when running seems effortless”. This is definitely something that I need to remember when I get into that negative mind set and I need to shift that dark cloud. It’s the tough runs that make us who we are and teach us to push through. Everything seems impossible until it is done.

So where do I go from here? Firstly I am going to put yesterday’s not so long LSR in a box and set fire to it. I can’t write off all of the great training miles I have done so far because I had one horrific run. One bad run, that is all it is! Some runners have weeks or bad runs or are plagued by injury. I will take some positives from it. For example, I managed to run 10 miles even though I wanted to give up after 3. Moving forward I am going to accept that running is not an exact science and work on pushing myself when everything is going well but knowing when to listen to my body and take things a bit easier. I am grateful that for next week’s long run I will have the company of my buddy Paul T, some inane chat may help to dispel the demons of my last LSR. I am also able to make it to both of my club training sessions this week and nothing makes me feel more positive than the support and encouragement of my fellow Canterbury Harriers.